My name is Voke and I’d Love to tell you who God is. He is so many things, like a mighty man of war, saviour, redeemer and others. One thing He is and can never cease from being is LOVE that’s His personality that’s who He is. But how did I come to know this? I never knew this while growing up. In fact, I grew with a very scary picture of who God is. I grew up with the picture of a God who kills when you make a mistake. My mom will always say “Voke, fear God….He kills”. I grew up with the idea that He will punish me when I do wrong and bless me when I do right. I struggled for so many years with this ideology to the point that nobody can convince me that God is Love because I’ve read stories in the Bible where He killed people like Uzzah for touching the ark of the covenant, the children of Israel who murmured all died in the wilderness till a new generation sprunged up, the killing of Moses after he hit the Rock (Jesus) with the rod when the children of Israel asked for water, Er the son of Judah for his unspecified wickedness, Abihu and Nadab for offering strange fire, swarm of deadly snakes to kill murmuring Israelites, multitudes were killed for looking into the ark, Herod Agrippa 1 who murdered James and tried to kill Peter, Ananias and Sapphira, and many more……
I became so scared that my imagination created pictures of me that will never have a relationship with God. I lamented for a rescue but non could save me from my fears of who I thought God was. Even when I read about Jesus teaching the disciples how to pray, starting the Prayer with “Our Father” it never occured to me that He (God) is also my Dad. But on this faithful cool evening when the Sun was about showing her beautiful face as sets, I was invited to a fellowship called CFi (Christian Fellowship international) by a friend. Reluctantly I went, not knowing that was the very day God wants to remove the speck from my eyes and give me a new ideology of who He truly is, LOVE. I sat down like every other person in the hall but my mindset was totally different with the idea that the preacher is certainly gonna tell me how dangerous God is and how much I need to fear Him or else He will Kill me. Just when my mind was calculating and bringing into remembrance all I’ve learned growing up, the speaker asked us to open to the book of 1 John 3:1 which says… “Beloved, what manner of Love the Father has bestowed on us that we should be called the children of God”. He made us understand that God’s purpose of creating humankind is for a family -children. God wants a family of sons and daughters of His own kind. He went further and asked us to open to 1 John 4:16 which says..”And we have known and believe the Love that God hath to us. God is Love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God and God in him. Right there my eyes were being opened gradually and just when I thought he’s done, he said the very words that cracked and crushed that wall of difference between God and I. He said… like he was looking directly into my eyes. “God Loves you, He’s not angry with you, He’s your Father, He’s not counting your sins against you, He’s not punishing you for the sins of the past”.
Within me, I was fighting this transformation . I was like…. hehehehe this dude must be joking, probably he hasn’t read about those God killed. Or he’s talking about another God, not the one I know of. Being born into a Christian home does not make you a Christian neither does going to church. Having a personal relationship with God is most important. It’s one thing to go to church and its another for the church (Jesus) to be in you. Unknowingly to those around, God was breaking and rebuilding me. The idea of old sins being repaid by God on me after I give my life to Him was crushed with 1Thessalonians 5:16NLT For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to Himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them…… as the word of God which is sharper than two-edged sword was piecing me, he asked us to open the last scripture for the day Romans 8:15 NLT So, you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s spirit when He adopted you as His children. Now we call Him “Abba Father”. Here’s how The message translations puts it.This resurrection life you received for God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It’s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike “Whats next, Papa?”.
After this he asked “Is there anyone who wants to have a relationship with Jesus?” At this point, I felt a call within me not to remain a church kid but to have Jesus and a relationship with His Spirit. God’s Love melted into my soul and saved me that very day. God was patient with me for so….. long, waited till this day to crush all my ideas about Him that were wrong and gave me His very own idea by receiving Him and having a relationship with Him. As days go by, this new found relationship grows.I no longer come into His presence at home or in church with fear. I come before Him with a childlike attitude and just say, Dad I’m here again…. can we talk, can i tell you how awesome you are, how sweet you are, how gorgeous you are, how lovely you are? Can i also tell you that I so Love you with all that I am and all I will be, do You know I can’t live without you, I’m a lost course without you, I can’t even breathe without you? As I give Him my Love, He pours more of His Love into me, making me realise how much He loves me and whispering these words into my spirit; “I am Love and I Love you”.
In conclusion, you might not have the same story like I do. But there’s certainly somethings you believed about who God is while growing up. God is able and willing to flip it upside down and give you the right understanding of Himself from His word if you will accept it. He loves you and want a relationship with you…….