Mother-Daughter Relationship 

There’s an amazing relationship between the girl-child and the mother. These two beings experience a tremendous change while growing up, they become so fused together that one will wonder if they are friends or sisters. Now I’m not saying the male-child can not experience the kind of Friendship the female-child experiences but there’s no doubt that a female’s got more attachments to the mother than the male. The kind of changes that takes place outside and within the male can not be compared to the numerous changes the female-child go through. The correlation between the mother and her daughter is such a great relationship that it sets the course for every other relationship. This is because every girl-child learns how she takes care of herself, physically and otherwise, how she manages her home, how she helps her husband, what values and morals she takes so dear, how she treats her kids either with love, discipline and respect or with lack of love, indiscipline, and disdain. All these and other values the girl-child learns from her mother. That is how she raises her own kids, and thats what she’ll transfer to her own kids and so on. But theres a reality one need to understand about the girl-child. She can decide to be closer to her Dad than the mother but that doesn’t mean she’s disconnected from the bond with her mother. At a certain time and season, that beloved daughter starts acting awkward from what she used to be. These changes sometimes happen when your lovely little girl becomes an adult. She no longer jumps on your back for fun, she no longer kiss you good night, she no longer needs a cuddle to sleep at night, she no longer runs to you after a nightmare, she no longer need you to pick her up from school, she just want to be independent but not vulnerable to external threats because she’ll need her mama in that. At this point, most moms want to show who’s the boss and simply put their daughter in her place; but the truth is she’s not disputing your position as her mother, she just wants to feel independent.

Unfortunately, no matter how tough, strange, complicated, dogmatic the mother-daughter relationship may seem, most times it later becomes superb. Over here in Nigeria; when the girl-child is doing pretty well she’s known as our daughter (both parents) but whenever she does something contrary to what she used to do, the father exclaims on the mother saying “You see your daughter”! which simply implies that whenever the daughter is acting really stubborn,  the sole responsibility of fixing her lies in the hands of the mother. A mother-daughter relationship go through various phases and sometimes it may seem really shaky like it will never be cool again but moms need to understand that changes are events, they come and they go they are not permanent. At these changing times, mother’s are supposed to maintain their emotional stability so they could be strong for the girl-child when she moves out of line and goes astray from from the norms and principles laid down from childhood. Note that at this point, the daughter is doing what I call the “Downloading process”. She might not have to courage to approach you and ask you how you did it but she’s taking note of your vital signs, your mental, physical, psychological, and spiritual strength because when she’s done downloading, she will uploading into her own life as she lives on….and these is the chain of how memories are passed from one generation to the other. This mother-daughter relationship doesn’t just end in adulthood, it continues to when the daughter is ready to get married. It’s such an exciting time for the daughter that her mama is meeting her hubby. She would rather confide in her mom about the relationship  (It’s ups and downs) than in Dad. She’s ready to say how it went to her mother without leaving any stone untouched.

It becomes even more interesting when mother becomes a grandma. Oh my God! You can’t beat that. Sometimes the attention is shifted from the daughter herself to the grandchild who is now the premium one. Mother can sometimes have slight or huge misunderstanding with daughter if she venture touches her grandchild for any possible reason. Daughter also wonder why the change of attention and the level of care and love especially if mother disciplined her while growing up and now she’s doing the opposite to her grandchild. But you will always see how much she loves her baby girl within all she’s doing for her daughter’s baby. These two creatures are inseparable and no matter what comes their way, they’ll always stand………..

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