Three Factors You Shouldn’t Allow To Change You!

I have come to realize that we live in a world where people will never ever stop murmuring, complaining and feeling unsatisfied. Humans have insatiable appetite for almost everything. But thank God not everyone is in these category. But sometimes we got to look back to where we were before and where we are now and see if the changes that has taken place in our lives has changed us completely to the degree PEOPLE no longer know who we are. Here are three factors you should never allow to change you…..


We’ve all being influenced by various people in our lives. I remember saying I want to be Michael Jackson while growing up because he sings so well and people respects and honour him but then when I heard Lucky dube of South Africa I said to myself, wow! these guy is crazy for music, looking at the way he shakes his head while singing with the dreadlocks on; I mean I love the dude. Just when I was getting ready to copy him, i found another African-American group known as the boyzIImen; oh my God! these guys are all unique in their voices and style of singing I was lost in whom to choose to influence me in one area of my gifting and I loved them all. It’s over 20 yrs now and I still sing like one of them but I’m still here and I’m not lost in them . Now in life and on a daily bases, people walk into our lives or we walk into people’s lives. And sometimes we wonder how far we’ve come from where we were and how much we’ve changed from the sweet, friendly, loving, compassionate, generous person to a total stranger to ourselves. No change happens on its own. It’s either initiated by someone consciously or unconsciously. I’ve heard a friend say “I don’t allow my friends choose me, i choose my friends” what a nice statement but what matters here is there’s a “choosing” whether you chose or you were chosen it doesn’t matter. The one who will be in control will be determined by the one who’s got the Influence over the friendship. 

One thing is certain, would you be proud of the person you’ve become over the years? A decent married woman can be controlled by a friend she allows to control her. A good husband who comes home early and doesn’t consume a lot of alcohol can be controlled by friends who go clubbing every day and he becomes a drunk and comes home late.  A calm and respectful wife can be controlled by a friend of hers and she becomes a nagging wife. A patient and tolerant husband can be controlled by friends and he turns his wife to a punching bag. A good customer agent or worker can be controlled by a colleague and he/she starts indulging in illegal activities within the organization or company. We can go on and on but the truth is; the people we allow into our lives or the people we enter their lives has the power to exact such changes in our lives that we’re  no longer seen but the attitude of the one controlling us is being seen. You can be changed from a cool tempered person to a quick and hot tempered person based on the people you mingle with. Life has taught me something and is that “I can hear you but I have the choice to listen to you”. Same also I can be your friend but I have a choice to your level of influence, control or changes over me.


Here’s another factor that changes people so quickly than one can ever imagine. Money’s got power to turn the attitude of one who is loyal and responsible to an arrogant and irresponsible person. Money is good but it can never replace friendship. Money is good but it can never replace people. Money is good but it can never replace family. Money is good but it can never repalce the joy of motherhood or fatherhood. It is thin- line between the rich and the poor, it swells one up like cake in the oven. The reason it changes alot of people is because most these people actually forgot so soon where they came from. They forgot the periods of eating just breakfast and have no clue where lunch and supper will come from. They forgot so soon how they had to squat with different friends and family members and depend on theses persons for daily bread. They forgot how they were almost losing their self-respect and worth but a friend, a brother helped them see things from a different angle. Peoples mind and attitude gets so twisted drastically when they come in contact with money of higher denomination. Some people may end up losing childhood friends, best friends who’s being with them through thick and thin…. all for the money.

 It is good to upgrade friends based on levels of achievements but it can never ever be right to neglect friends based on levels of life’s achievements because achievements are temporal but friends and family remains. I do believe money can change your attitude but I honestly won’t allow it change my attitude towards the people I love and care about because life does not consist of the things you acquire but how well you used the things you acquired to accomplish someone else’s dreams or goals.

 How you helped that widow who’s got no one to help pay how kids school fees and put food on her table daily without pride within you. How you helped that man or woman who was robbed on his way to work or from work with some change, no matter How little it is. How you gave that last cash with you to someone who was so in need and you felt so joyful within you that you were privileged to help someone. All these and more are what makes money worth having and not the other way round….


This one is the core of them all because its got to do with emotions. Past experiences got a way of changing who we are. Most of these past experiences are really horrible and they have a lot of influence on us. A man having anger issues might’ve had a past experience with his father always getting angry at every little thing. A wife bitter might’ve had past experiences with his father always hitting his mother. A woman who’s being heartbroken by a guy in the past can decide to treat all guys same way she was treated. Same way a man who’s being heartbroken by a lady in the past can also decide to treat any lady who comes his way with hatred and payback. A simple and innocent guy who was taken advantage by his friends into joining a group he thought was a family but turned out to be a cult can be so stubborn that one will wonder if that’s the way he’s built. We’ve all being built in a way that we go through things and things don’t go through us. And some of these things we go through may not be palatable for us but they are experiences we learn from on how to live on as we go on the ladder of life and the people we’ll meet while going on. We learn from experiences to be worse-off of ourselves but we do learn from our experiences to be better us in that area wherein we lack strength. 

In conclusion, these three factors are good but they shouldn’t change who you are created to be, they shouldn’t change your attitude around the ones you love, they shouldn’t change the amazing person you once were into a shadow of yourself. As Maya Angelou said :When you know better you do better”. So, take these factors and be in charge and don’t let them be in charge of you……..


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