Heartbreak? He’s got your back….

I’ve been asking myself why people get hurt in relationships.I’m talking about the relationship between the male and the female. Why do most people get hurt so much in all their relationships and others get so lucky that they don’t have a single heartbreak before and after marriage? Is it an individual issue or connection issues (the means through which you both met), or is a normal phenomenon that happens to everyone? The Truth is, it is not a normal phenomenon for some people to have heartbreaks almost all their live and others are exempted. I believe it is an individual issue. By individual issue I mean (individual psychological positioning). Now let me explain what I’m trying to say. We have guys and lady’s who believe they can never meet Mr right or Miss right. The mindset of a defeated fellow is contagious. When a mind has being positioned in such a way that it doesn’t see the bright side of things, it will certainly attract like-minded individuals; and when these category of people go into a relationship it never ends well because the nose-diving failure of the relationship was already concluded before it was ventured into. The negative is not always the case. Because eventually, the one who’s mind has being programmed for failure from the start can end up with someone who’s mindset is direct opposite of him or her and the relationship might fall on the positive side. Just one heartbreak can cause a guy or a lady to transformed within and reduce his/herself to a mouse in the midst of so many lions and lioness. When that happens, the victim uses the mechanism that gives and takes life (The tongue) to initiate the future and then he or she never mets the right person and keeps having heartbreaks upon heartbreaks. This is the first reason I saw that causes heartbreaks in relationships. Most of these people already programmed their minds for the worse and so they get the worse as a gift package every time.I wish there were painkillers for heartbreaks……

Another reason people get heartbreaks is meeting the wrong kind of people. I believe there are people who have also programmed their minds and attitude to hurt others. I have had friends who were heartbroken in the past come to me and say “Voke! Because of what this guy did to me, I won’t love anyone again. In fact, its time to play the game”. Who should we blame? The one who’s heart was broken or the one who initiated the heartbreak?  I’ll say most times when we are in love, we are blinded to the faults of those we are in love with. Though we can see the error and feel the pains they cause us but we simply ignore it. It is very important that we choose who we fall in love with. I don’t believe for one seconds that we don’t choose the people we love and that it happens naturally. Falling in love is an “intentional” commitment one goes into; eyes open and heart open. It is wise we look wisely before going into a relationship because relationships are the bedrock of what might lead to a union between both parties. Unfortunately, the rain of divorce has been raining down on men in this generation. Couples no longer stay together for more than a year or two and the next thing you hear is divorce. And the society is filled with people who’s relationships has been messed up so, same category of people meet and continue the chain of heartbreaks.

 It can be better. Relationships can be better if every individual going into a relationship set their priorities right. By setting priorities right, I meant a careful and deliberate decision of what you want from a relationship. Some folks want nothing but friendship. Others want companion only. Others want intimacy. Others just want to jump into it because their friends are in it and they want to belong to the class of “relationship status =Dating“.

While there’s one honours God in the centre of it all and saying “God if it is not your will crush it and lead me to the right one that pleases your heart”. But most times we don’t have time to give God the space in our relationships either because we are New to it or because we feel He is too busy with alot of things and relationships are not His thing. But sorry to disappoint you, He wants to be involved in every area of our lives. Just as every Lovely Father will ask His daughter or son who he or she is dating and see if they are good enough for them and also invite them over for dinner to meet the entire family sometimes.  So also does God wants to be involved in your life as your Heavenly Father….if you will let Him direct you and not lean on your own understanding, you will enjoy Him and He will direct your path to the right one that suits you for Him. And if you got a heartbreak before you met Him, He doesn’t mend your broken heart, He gives you a brand new heart that Loves like you’ve done before and can take tolerates and bounces back every kind of junk that intends to ruin it.

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